On An AirMattress With You

This is my first blog post. Perfectly coinciding with my last work of my college. One door closes, the other open? The metaphorical door of blog writing. Anyway. I have been postponing writing my final paper for Joe's Styles class by creating this blog. It's hard to force a blog post, but its not as hard as writing 2,000 words on what I learned about what queer is and what style is. I think I have the format for the paper, but I just do not work well if I'm not under pressure :-). Necessity is the mother of invention. COW.

So yeah. Tomorrow I will finish college. It feels really weird and scary, and no I do not know what I'm doing or what my plans are. I've always liked going to school and I think it will be weird not having so much responsibility. I hope to keep doing art and keep having friends. That's important. Yup.

Today was my "last" day student teaching. I say last day with hesitance and quotes because it was supposed to be on Thursday but my CT was sick so I had totally mentally checked out already. So I just came by to say hi during lunch and Drama Club. At lunch my CT was starting a new Freshmen Student Council and it was great! They had so many idea about how to change the school and what they wanted out of their next three years, it was really powerful to hear such energy and excitement for action. It was funny though because I hadn't been there for a week so everyone (even students who have called me a bitch to my face) were shouting Lisha! and excited to see me. Really? Really. Then at drama club (my best students and the ones that I could just talk to and have fun with) they all bust out into a huge rendition of FI FA VISTA as a goodbye for me. We played some games and hugged goodbye and that was it! Simply out of their lives as quickly as I came in.

So yeah, out of college as quickly as I came in.

This past month has been really crazy. I really hope more than anything that I can keep my friends. I know I'm not that great in keeping in touch but I really will try. I want to try. I know its hard to keep people on radar when you don't see them all the time. I really am scared that I'm going to do a shit job, but I don't want to do a shit job.
Time to sit down and write some lists. Some goals. You know, everyone says to follow your dreams, but what happens when your dreams change or disappear all together. Maybe if I get some sleep, I'll have some more dreams.

Goodnight.